One Way
by liekanime
Summary: Getting Uchiha Sasuke to go on a picnic was not easy. "Sakura said she was going." "I'll go." (Sasusaku and minor Naruhina) rated M just in case.


"No way in hell dobe." Sasuke hissed as he flipped the blonde off. Naruto groaned, how long has it been…?

Almost four hours.

Yes, Naruto Uzumaki, the sixth hokage has been pestering his best friend to go to the picnic that Ino was holding for exactly four hours.

"Why not?!" He whined clinging onto Sasuke's arm in a childish manner.

"Because it is a waste of time!" The raven haired ANBU growled as he ripped Naruto's hands off of him. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Until you say okay."

Sasuke glared and stalked away to his house, leaving Naruto on the training field where they were both sparing.

Naruto scowled as he too left grumbling to himself.

"Bastard. So anti-social." He complained to no one.

Cursing Sasuke, the Rokudaime found himself at Ichiraku, he still spent hours in this little stand inhaling ramen whenever he managed to bribe Shikamaru into filling out paper work for him.

Well Shikamaru was usually the one he does that, mostly because even though he was lazy, if Naruto filled out something wrong, Konoha would be in trouble. That would make everything more troublesome.

"Good to see you again Naruto!" Ayame smiled at him as she started making a bowl of ramen, obviously after all these years, whenever Naruto came in no one asked what he wanted, because they knew.

"Ayame, how do you think I can convince teme to come to Ino's picnic?"

The blonde split his chopsticks and started rapidly eating his ramen that Ayama placed in front of him.

"Well lets see…Tell him you wont give him any more missions unless he agrees?"

Naruto gasped and choked on his noodles before breaking into a coughing fit.

"O-Oh Kami! ack! ack!"

Ayame held in a giggle as she patted his back and handed him a cup of water, which was swallowed immediately.

"I thought I was going to die…" Naruto breathed in as he held a hand above his heart. "But THAT IS THE BEST IDEA EVER!"

XXXXXXX

Sasuke glared.

Naurto cringed.

Sasuke glared harder.

Naruto felt himself withering.

Sasuke reached for his katana.

Naruto bowed with tears in his eyes.

"I TAKE IT BACK TEME! DON'T KILL ME!" Naruto whimpered as he covered his head with his arms, the ANBU smirked and sheathed his weapon.

"Don't you dare try black mailing me again idiot."

XXXXXX

"It didn't work! He was ready to kill me!" Naruto reported to Ayame who sighed.

"Whats going on here?" Teuchi smiled the wrinkled smile, it was quite rare to see him in Ichiraku now that he was at the age of retirement.

"How do I get teme to come to Ino's picnic?" Naruto asked as he sat there on the stool playing with a stray kunai.

"Couldn't you just bet with him? Then if he looses he'll have to go to the picnic?"

"Already tried." Naruto sighed in disappointment. "I lost to him in a sparing match."

"Why didn't you have a ramen eating contest?" Teuchi asked confused as Naruto fell back.

"OF COURSE! GREAT IDEA OLD MAN!" And Naruto was off.

XXXXXXX

"I already ate."

XXXXXXX

"HE REFUSED!" The blonde raged as Teuchi and Ayame sighed.

"Black mail him with something else then." Ayame suggested as she poured a cup of Green Tea for her dad.

"Something he'll knuckle under." Teuchi joined in as he sipped at his tea.

"I don't know…" Naruto mumbled as he stood up. "Thanks for the help though. I'll just go try something else."

The two waved goodbye, Naruto kicked at a stone down the street as he watched little kids running around each other.

Something clicked in his head.

XXXXXX

"Okay I won't go." Sasuke nodded as he went back to shopping for tomatoes.

"How can you say no to that!?" Naruto cried as he followed Sasuke around. "Anyone in their right mind would say yes!"

"Why the fuck would anyone want to go to a picnic so their child can be called Naruto." Sasuke spit out as he looked at he current hokage with disgust.

"It's an honour that I'm actually allowing you to call your future first son Naruto!"

"Why the hell are you so desperate." the raven haired Uchiha demanded.

"Because everyone will be there! We haven't gone out with the whole Rookie 9 since you came back."

"No. I told you, I have better things to do then play around."

"How is hanging out with friends playing around?" Naruto retorted.

"Since when was it the hokage's job to force people to go to picnics?"

Naruto didn't say anything back.

Silence fell.

"God Damit Sasuke! I HATE YOUR COME BACKS!"

Sasuke smirked and walked to the counter of the super market to pay.

"OH I GOT ONE NOW!" Naruto ran up to Sasuke. "Since when was an ANBU allowed to talk back to the hokage!?"

Sasuke snorted and payed the salesman. "Since you became hokage."

XXXXXX

"I HATE THAT BASTARD!" Naruto yelled as he kicked at a tree causing apple's to fall. "HE IS SUCH A BASTARD, I OUGHT TO FIRE HIM!" The Jinchuriki growled as an apple fell onto his head.

"A-Ano… Naruto-kun. You s-shouldn't kick at these t-trees!" A timid voice spoke up causing Naruto to jump before spinning around to see Hinata blushing, she had a pretty white sundress that made her skin glow. With her left hand, she was holding a basket full of herbs and specifically raspberries, most likely from the bush a few meters away. While her right hand was sitting on her straw hat.

Naruto stared until Hinata was this close to fainting.

"W-What is it? D-Do i have s-something on m-my face?" The Hyuga heiress stuttered as she looked at the ground away from Naruto's stare.

The hokage laughed as he scratched his head nervously. "Nah! I think you look really pretty like that Hinata!" He complimented her causing the indigo haired go to lose her balance, almost falling to the ground in shock. Sending a small proportion of her chakra to her feat she managed to retain balance.

She was not going to fall in front of Naruto.

She didn't need to constantly need help.

No more fainting.

"So whats u-up?" She attempted a conversation as Naruto scowled at the topic.

"Teme is being a dickhead!" He complained to her. "I want to kick his ass so bad."

Hinata blinked, of course it was normal for the two to always hate each other on a daily basis but Sakura was always there to stop the two from fighting before anything got serious.

"Is this about I-Ino's picnic?"

Naruto nodded as he sat down on the grass hands behind his head. 'Yeah, teme just doesn't want to go. I bet you that he does like picnics in the bottom of his heart!"

Hinata giggled as she sat down on the grass, keeping a good distance from him, what she would like to call a _friend distance._

"Maybe." she agreed. "But he would come."

"How do you know?'"

"You just have to tell him w-why he should come." She said confidently. "Like Ino's plans."

Naruto nodded following Hinata's train of thoughts. "Okay I see, Thanks Hinata-chan!" he lifted his hand in a high-five motion as the indigo haired kunoichi slowly returned the motion, a small smile on her face.

"Good luck."

And Naruto was off was again.

XXXXXX

"If you do not stop following me and nagging, I swear dobe, I'll murder you." Sasuke hissed menacingly as he popped a vein.

Naruto has been begging him to attend Ino's picnic since sunrise.

Sasuke knew if he didn't lock this moron up he was going to snap and kill someone.

"PLEASE! WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO!?" Naruto cried as he kneeled and started clawing at Sasuke's feet. "Please come teme!"

The raven haired man narrowed his eyes and kicked Naruto off. "Don't go raping my leg." Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the collar of his shirt and lifted him up so they were eye to eye. "If I hear the word picnic _one more time, _you better start picking up a habit of sleeping with one eye open." He threatened as he threw Naruto back onto the ground and stepped over him.

The hokage doesn't give up so easily!

…

Especially Naruto.

"WAIT!" The blonde leaped off the ground and super glued himself to his best ANBU. "Just go! Come one! You can spare 2 hours of your lonely life right!?"

Before Sasuke could choke Naruto, the blonde jumped back.

"Everyone's going to be there!"

He was going with Hinata's idea.

"It will be fun!"

Sasuke scoffed.

"We're going to eat!"

"Isn't that the point of a tea party." Sasuke muttered with disgust.

"It's not a tea party! it's a pic-"

"SHUT UP!"

Naruto was sent flying back.

"OW! STUPID BASTARD! I DON'T CARE WHAT I HAVE TO DO. YOU'RE GOING!"

Sasuke shut his eyes, and calmed himself, breathing in and out. He was basically meditating in the middle of the fucking street. Only someone who has reached enlightenment can deal with Naruto without violence and threats.

Too bad Sasuke isn't a monk.

"Listen." The Uchiha spoke with an strained artificial voice. "I'm going to say this ONE more time." He kept his eyes shut knowing that if he opened his eyes and saw Naruto he might end up in jail for killing the hokage.

"I do not want to go to this fucking _picnic_," he spit out. "And I don't care how _fun_ it is going to be."

Sasuke turned around was about to walk back to the Uchiha Estate.

"So get your annoying ass back to the hokage tower and don't talk to me for the rest of the decade."

Naruto focused on Sasuke's back as he moaned. "Why is he such a prick!" The blonde groaned standing up and heading to the whole source of this problem. Ino.

Barging into the flower shop, Ino was working part time, since her parents were out. "Ino!" Naruto called.

"Back here."

Naruto followed her voice and found her at the back of the shop watering some flowers.

"It's not working! That bastard won't come."

Ino stopped and turned around. "He won't?" She questioned.

"Yeah, So I was going to ask you for a favour." The blonde started off. "Is it okay if you rearrange the date of the picnic?" He asked sheepishly.

"Fine, as long as you get him to come, what other day will be good?" Ino now stopped what she was doing and walked back into the shop, Naruto following, she pulled out a purple diary from underneath the counter and crossed off the previous picnic date.

She ripped through the pages checking when she was free.

"Keep the date, but could you hold it in a decade?"

Ino looked at Naruto like he was stupid. "What?"

"Move the picnic back a decade. If you can." Naruto repeated.

"Why the hell would we need to hold it in 10 years?"

"BECAUSE TEME TOLD ME NOT TO TALK TO HIM UNTIL TH- OWWWW!"

"BAKA! YOU ARE SO STUPID!" Ino whacked him with her book as she glowered at him with pure hatred. "You are so useless. Who cares. GO FUCKING KIDNAP HIM. I AM NOT CHANGING THE DATE NOW. NOT FOR SOMETHING AS RIDICULOUS AS THAT. GO. IF YOU GET YOUR ASS BEATEN UP, THEN YOU DESERVE IT!"

She sent Naruto flying out back into the streets with a powerful kick, attracting passing civilian's attention.

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" She cried before slamming the door shut.

Naruto groaned as he sat up a pout on his face.

"I guess I'm on my own…" he sighed as he sat there in the middle of the street in a thinking pose, trying to come up with an idea.

XXXXXXX

Sakura smiled as she finished wrapping the final layer of bandages around the wounded Jounin's arm. "There you go! Feeling better?" She asked, pulling out her clipboard and retrieved a pen in her doctor coat.

The brown haired man nodded a smirk on his face. "Yeah, wont expect any less from Sakura Haruno."

The pinkette blushed as she jotted something down. "Oh Stop it Kiba."

Standing up she moved behind him to remove the bandages he had wrapped around his head. "I'll heal the wound up here then you're free to go."

Placing her hand a few centimetres above his temples, where a deep gash made from a kunai rested, Sakura channeled chakra to her finger tips and slowly closed the cut as much as she could.

Kiba stayed seated quietly as he closed his eyes, feeling the warm sensation. "Hey Sakura, are you going to Ino's picnic?" He asked out of no where peeking up at the kunoichi.

"I mean…you never stop working."

Sakura stayed silent and continued her healing, after the wound was closed and the bleeding ceased she sat down in front of him again. "I'm still thinking, I'm guessing that you're going?"

Kiba nodded. "Course I'm going! You should come to."

"A break does sound good, I guess I will go then." Pulling out her clipboard once again she wrote something down on Kiba's file. "If you have time, could you let Ino know I'm going?"

"Sure thing! It's great that you're finally deciding to hang out." he laughed, before leaving the room.

The brown haired Jounin walked out of the hospital only to crash into Naruto who was running at top speed. "OI! SLOW DOWN!" He yelled ready to tell the blonde off.

"Hey Kiba! Don't talk to the hokage like that! BOW DOWN TO ME!"

Rolling his eyes Kiba shoved his hands into his pocket. "Yeah yeah, I'm busy. Get lost."

"Screwing around again?" Naruto lamely guessed cackling.

"No." Kiba's eyes twitched. "I need to find Ino."

The jinchuriki gasped and pulled Kiba back. "DON'T GO! SHE IS REALLY REALLY MAD RIGHT NOW!"

"What did you do this time."

"…Nothing! I think it's you know… her time of the month."

"…Seriously, if Ino heard that she could torture you in more then 50 ways. Naruto it's not surprising though, you piss everyone of."

"What? NO I DON'T!" the blonde retorted now following Kiba. "But seriously, why do you even need her?"

The brown haired jounin rubbed his temples already annoyed by Naruto's pestering. "Delivering a message." was his reply. "Now can you kindly run along to do…whatever you do."

Naruto ignored him and continued questioning him. "What message!? From who? NO SECRETS FROM THE HOKAGE!"

Kiba face palmed, Naruto really loved using his title as Hokage to get his friends to heed to his command. Only Sasuke didn't get fazed.

"Sakura. She's going to the picnic too."

" .GOD!" Naruto sputtered out. "WAIT TILL TEME HEARS THIS!" he laughed out before slapping a hand on Kiba's shoulder. "You my friend. Have did good."

Then as the ever so energetic shinobi he was, Naruto had sped off to find his so called best friend.

XXXXX

Sasuke shut the door, in absolute fury, he didn't care if he just slammed it right into Naruto's face. He had enough.

Sasuke swore he was losing what was left of his patience. If Naruto didn't get the message that he was NEVER going to go to that stupid ridiculous picnic then he was going to have to slaughter the hokage.

His sanity…it was going…going…going

"JUST HANG OUT FOR ONCE BASTARD!"

going…and gone.

Sasuke ripped open the door and as soon as he did, the sound of a thousand birds chirping met Naruto's ears.

"CHIDORI!" The ANBU mercilessly cried, he barely hit his mark as the blonde had swiftly shifted to the right.

"What the hell Teme!?"

"I don't want to go. I will never go." Sasuke started off, fully intending to contradict his silent nature by speaking a whole essay on why he had no reason to attend.

"But I'm going." Naruto spoke up.

"All the more reason why I shouldn't go."

"And the whole rookie nine. Even Team Guy."

Sasuke didn't even show the slightest interest as he pulled out kusanagi. "Any final words idiot?"

"Sakura said she was going." The blonde smirked as the effect of his words caused Sasuke to halt.

Naruto may be stupid. But he was certainly not blind. He knew that Sakura still held feelings for Sasuke. The bastard doesn't deserve it.

No matter how much he may deny it, Naruto knew for a fact that Sasuke didn't hate or dislike their pink haired team mate. He was every bit the jealous brooding asshole who made sure that no man stood 10 meters near Sakura, Naruto always found it funny how his best friend still hasn't admitted his feelings.

"I'll go." Sasuke bluntly replied before pivoting and entering his house, leaving a beaming Naruto on the ground.


End file.
